The Allure Of The Younger Man

December 30, 2009

He was sixteen and several years younger than me. But even then, I swore that if he ever showed interest, I would jump the gun. Screw statutory rape, I would corrupt this minor. And to think I claimed to like older men. That’s how attractive he was.

 

Five years later, I’d forgotten all about the pledge I made to myself about him. And then, it happened. “It” being the event that awakened the memory of that promise. It started out as a casual “hey musta na?” chat on Facebook, all innocent. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, and running in similar circles, we kind of used to. Then I started getting that vibe, you know, the one you get when someone’s about to come on to you. It felt… bizarre, so out of place. Because even though he was so hot (there’s just no other word for it), his older brother calls me “ate”! Besides, he was obviously just looking for a good time (he wanted to “kill boredom”; sure, but at midnight??), and I am just not that type of person.

 

Not that type of person. Rewind back to five years ago. I was, wasn’t I? Or at least, I thought I had been. But when faced with the possibility of acting on it, something else got the better of me. I was able to rise above it. Yay! J

 

Was there some cosmic energy testing me, to see how I would play my role in the scheme of things? Did I pass? But, would I have agreed to go and kill boredom at midnight had he been older?  Surely, the age gap was enough to make me stop and think twice. But would I have been that quick to decline if it were an older man? Was I really principled, or was it all just circumstancial? Was it his mistake, having been born years too late?

 

Then I remembered going out with someone a few weeks earlier. And I declined the possibility of taking that to another level too. Hmm… Principle? Or was I just being a tease?

 

Suddenly, the bizarreness started making sense to me. Could it be possible that God, having known of my declaration five years earlier, was testing my faith? 

 

Perhaps. And what a situation to have tempted me with! What the heaven. If His purpose was to test me and strengthen my resolve to go against this tide everybody seems to be surfing on, then… it worked. I am definitely not backing down now, not when I’ve passed up THAT opportunity.

 

Hahaha. Seriously.