and then… i met Him.

April 30, 2010

i tried to hold out for someone whom i thought was worthy of me. so at an age when most of my friends had boyfriends, i stood my ground and fended off anybody i deemed unworthy by my standards.

 

then i met him. i knew he wasn’t the best out there, he couldn’t be. i was only fourteen. but his charm disarmed. before i knew it, i was compromising my values, whatever i had to begin with. college pressures came with the tides of change. to cut the story short, boy leaves girl for college. girl gets heartbroken. girl breaks up with boy.

 

then i met him. i knew he wasn’t the best out there, he couldn’t be. i was only 16. but he comforted me and kept me company when i was lonely. before i knew it, i was compromising my values, whatever i had left. the tides of change came and so did our feelings for each other. to cut the story short, boy seeks out another. girl gets mad. girl breaks up with boy.

 

then i met him. i knew he wasn’t the best out there, he couldn’t be. i was only 18. but his mystique intrigued me and he was sweet even when he was mad. before i knew it, i had very little left to compromise. his leaving came with the tides of change. to cut the story short, boy leaves for his homeland. girl gets insecure with the distance. girl breaks up with boy.

 

then i met him. i knew he wasn’t the best out there, he couldn’t be. i was only 19. but his intelligence swayed me, and he smiled like a saint. before i knew it, i had no values left to compromise. i was knee-deep in sin. the tides of change came and so did our situations. to cut the story short, boy turns out to be a sailor. girl gets scarred. girl breaks up with boy.

 

then i met him. i knew he wasn’t the best out there, he couldn’t be. i was only 22. but his kindness and acceptance warmed me. before i knew it, i had begun questioning where all my values had gone. the tides of change came and so did my affection for him. to cut the story short, boy professes his love too soon. girl gets freaked out. girl leaves him in the cold.

 

at this point, i had decided to reassess the mess otherwise known as my life. my past had left me broken countless times; it had taken away too many pieces of me that i could no longer tell who i was with what was left. who was i? where was i headed? was i really prepared to let another “him” in my life? then it hit me. i wasn’t. i never had been. all my life, i settled for less. until less i had become. i was on my knees, and i decided it was time to heed the call and get back to my roots.

 

i opened my heart truly, for the first time…

 

and then, i met Him. He was the best. He wouldn’t have it any other way. His beauty and charm radiated from within. He kept me company and comforted me even when i wasn’t lonely, even when i pushed Him away. He kept no secrets from me, and longed to listen to my heart’s every desire. He was the sweetest; He forgave me for all my trespasses without reservation, without even me asking. He was wise beyond compare, and saintlier than a saint. His kindness, His sacrifice saved me. He put all my broken pieces back together. He made me whole again.

 

in Him, i am certain. For i know that He will never leave me, never break my heart; He will never seek out another in my place, never make me purposelessly mad; His presence is beyond the physical, never will the distance leave me insecure; He will never deceive me, never cause a scar just to hurt me; His love for me is whole and pure, never will He let me stray from Him.

 

i tried to hold out for someone who was worthy of me. instead, He held out for me, in spite of my unworthiness.

 

so for now, i am content in basking in the glory of my First True Love. when He deems me ready, then He will lead His best into my life. until then, i am perfectly satisfied being His and His alone. :)